So I thought before I went much further I should tell you what I look for in a playmate. Once you have been in this lifestyle for awhile you become familiar with what you need and it isn’t always about looks
So here are my top 7 requirements:
First and foremost intelligence is key. I need to be able to feel mentally stimulated by those I meet. If you are playing with someone inevitably, unless they are superman, there is going to be down time, and you don’t want that to be filled with awkward boring conversation. My best playmates make me laugh, and we can share aspects of our lives. I can go round to theirs and watch the football, have a beer and the sex is just part of what we do.
As much as they are available, one night stands have never been my thing. I just don’t find them satisfying. Therefore, I prefer to have a couple of select people that I meet with on a regular basis, so we build a rapport over time.
Because of my requirement for regular meets, proximity is key. I generally prefer to go to my play mates place, rather than entertain them at mine. In the beginning I was willing to play with people who lived further away, but these days I tend to keep it within a 45 min uber ride, otherwise its just not that practical to meet during the week. This however, is one rule I do break for the right person, but it takes someone very special.
In these situations, confidence is a really attractive quality in a play mate. I’ve never been the sort of person who meets someone the same day I start speaking to them. On average, I maybe talk to them for a week or two first, progressing from site, to whatsapp to a phone call. If they pass those screenings then I’ll arrange something.
Sometimes that first meet can be a drink, sometimes I know I’m meeting them pretty much straight away for sex, and it takes a lot of confidence on both sides to be comfortable with that. Imagine walking into someone’s house, kissing them straight away and within minutes you are having sex.
Firstly, I imagine this sounds like a dangerous prospect to some of you. Going to someone’s house that you don’t know as a woman, when in theory they could be anyone. But I do take precautious, have people I trust checking on me, and I’m not sure it’s so different to meeting someone in a bar and going back to theirs or any other similar scenario.
I like the confidence to then continue in the bedroom, I like to feel like the guy is slightly more in control, that he knows what he’s doing and also what he wants.
I know most guys won’t want to hear this, but size is important. A guy doesn’t have to be massive, but I have found being a bigger girl that a bigger cock suits me better.
Open minded but not perveted
When I play with someone I like to push the boundaries, explore my fantasies and their’s. I’m lucky enough to have tried most things that I’d be willing to at least once, but it genuinely is different with every person.
Just because it’s swinging doesn’t mean it’s always about kinky sex, a lot of the time the sex is very normal. But at times it’s fun to try something different – invite someone new to join, do it somewhere new, role play, dress up, use toys. And my favourite people to play with are people that are open to all of those things.
What immediately makes me strike someone off the list is a pervert. Someone who literally just wants to talk about sex all the time in the build up, who constantly pesters for photos or sends me pics of their cock non stop. Sorry but instant turn off!
This final one, is the one I seek, but is sometimes harder to find. It’s important because ultimately you are sharing your body with that person, and therefore for me trust is important.
If I’m very honest with you now, there are parts of me that aren’t 100% cut out for this life, I do fall for people and I do take things to heart. Hence even if it is just playing, trusting someone makes that easier.